The reason I chose a selfie of myself as the cover shot for this post is not because I’m just a narcissistic bitch and want everyone to look at my filtered face; it’s because I look ‘fine’ and therefore everyone always assumes I am. But you never really know the state of someone’s health just by looking at them. So many detrimental conditions are invisible.
I didn’t really want to talk about this, it has made me rather depressed for a while, I’ve been so down and I don’t feel like myself. I’m drained into exhaustion. I felt like an evil force is taking over my body and all of a sudden I have no control over it. You just start questioning, why me? Why now? Why why why can’t it go away?
Recently I was diagnosed by my gp with overactive bladder syndrome. I didn’t really know what this meant, and I am still struggling to really understand the long term implications.
So you just need the toilet a lot right?
Well it’s actually so much more than that, before I started medication to relax my bladder muscles; I had constant pressure on my bladder, how I would imagine it feels to be heavily pregnant. And I was going to the toilet around 40 times a day, which is SO intrusive. It makes simple tasks very difficult, as you have a consistent discomfort which does not go away (plus you have to keep going to the toilet every 10 minutes, I’m sure my colleagues at work are convinced I’m sniffing cocaine in there). Oh and this also includes during the night, throughout my sleep I can get up between 3-5 times. This means you are constantly tired and drained as sleep is always disturbed. I also lost quite a bit of weight as the constant pressure on my bladder made it difficult to sit, relax and eat. It ruined my appetite. (Those who know me will know how much of a big deal this is, my favourite past time is to eat).
I urge anyone to go to their gp if they have any unusual symptoms – and just for your info you can urinate between 8-10 times a day and still be considered normal. The beauty of health is that everyone is different, but anymore than 10 times is considered abnormal – and you should get checked out asap.
I want to raise awareness for this condition, as it can happen to anyone. At any age any gender. It doesn’t discriminate, and doctors are unsure what causes it. It can however be regulated with the correct medication. Whether this is a long term solution I am unsure? But it has made me realise you cannot take anything for granted in life, because at any point it can be taken away with you. Whether this is your bladder function or anything else. Every curse is a lesson.